Russell On Platonic Universals Essays - Ontology, Universal

Russell On Platonic Universals The consideration of Platonic universals consequently rouses controversy among philosophers. Thinkers like Bertrand Russell and Thomas Hobbes contribute reflective explanations for the undeniable usage of question-begging ideas in language and thought. While the deliberation of Platonic universals might seem to be fruitless and, at best, obscure to the layperson, it does function as a critical foundation for metaphysics and epistemology. Whether a philosopher agrees or disagrees with the idea of Platonic universals is irrelevant to the certain truth that he or she must form some opinion of them preceding most any philosophic endeavor. To attempt to summarize Plato's theory of universals in a paragraph would do it a great injustice but a simple, working definition of the theory is necessary to move any further. Plato's theory can be condensed as follows: A universal (or form) is an independently existing, nonspatial, nontemporal "something" known only through thought and that cannot be known through the senses; independently existing objects of thought; that which makes a particular thing uniquely and essentially what it is. In even simpler terms, a universal would be something like the "redness" of an apple. According to Plato, the red quality of the apple must exist because the apple is red. But"redness" itself isn't a tangible thing that can be directly experienced with the senses. You cannot produce "red" itself, only things that are red. But it is not only the fact that an apple is red that distinguishes it from other objects in the world. In addition to its "redness", an apple is an apple. An apple is not a pear. The quality unique to the apple is its "appleness". Thus, by appealing to the Platonic universals one can make a distinction between an apple and a pear, or all other things in the world. I. Thomas Hobbes' Nominalism Plato concluded that universals must actually exist. That is, that when "appleness" is appealed to, something ?out there' provides classification for the thing in question. This was (and still is) a radical notion that demanded explanation and was highly susceptible to criticism. Among those critics was Thomas Hobbes, a 16th Century social and political philosopher. In his work, The Leviathan, Hobbes argued that thought is a purely material event and that universals are just a result of language. Hobbes was a nominalist. Nominalism is the view that there are no universals over and above particular individuals2. For Hobbes, one of the answers to the question of universals could be found in the commonality of things. For instance, if a rock and a table are both hard, it is not because we refer to a universal, "hardness" for them, it is because we use the word "hard" to describe both of them. Another point made by Hobbes was that humans place things into categories in order to satisfy certain needs. Heimir Geirsson made a good analogy of this idea in his Metaphysics textbook, Beginning Metaphysics. He uses a weed for the analogy: A good example of this is the term "weed," which is defined as a plant that is not desired or cultivated by human beings and grows profusely. This is not a natural species that would exist even if human beings had never decided to classify some plants as "weeds." Many human beings are interested in having a special category for plants they don't like and that grow abundantly, and they create that category for plants they don't like, and they create that category with that name and definition. If human beings had not worried about weeds, then there would be no weeds. Of course, there would still be plants that we now call "weeds," e.g. dandelions and crabgrass, but they would not be weeds. Whether or not there are weeds depends on human beings classifying these plants as weeds.2 Geirsson's analogy is an interesting one because of the question it evokes. Why aren't all definitions like that of the weed, i.e., human classification? Hobbes thought that they were. For Hobbes, there were no real universals. Those things, which we refer to as universals, are simply created by humans out of a need to organize the world. II. Bertrand Russell on Platonic Universals Bertrand Russell attempted to defend the theory of Platonic universals. In order to do this he first thought it necessary to distinguish between universals that were qualities of things and those that were relations between things. The most practical way to separate qualities and relations is to understand them through their linguistic functions. Adjectives and common nouns express qualities or properties of

Impact of Testing Research Paper

Impact of Testing Research Paper Introduction The government of the United States of America is charged with among other roles the responsibility to ensure that its citizens receive adequate services. Such include good health care and education. Special emphasis has been to these two sectors since they are the backbone of the economy. Provision of quality education to students makes the country achieve significant progress. This is because when people study they are able to get jobs and thus become independent. This further ensures that poverty is eradicated before it takes a toll on the nation. The educated group of citizens also contributes to nation building through useful engagements other than engaging in malicious activities such as theft. They are able to provide labor in the various sectors; both government and private. Federal Initiatives relating to testing It is for this reason that the government initiates certain decisions and policies which directly affect testing in education in the U.S.A. Testing is important because it defines the student’s level of understanding of a particular matter. The government has initiated policies to this effect since it is a sensitive matter that requires care when being administered. Testing has both advantages and disadvantages. Such initiatives include the No Child Left Behind initiative, adequate yearly progress and FCAT in Florida (Wilberforce, 2005). The No Child Left Behind Act The no child left behind initiative that came to place through an act of the congress. The initiative upholds that high standards be established so as to establish quality education delivered to students. The initiative has seen increased funding go towards education. The initiative further maintains that adequate yearly progress be performed on the students in the course of their education. This refers to the use of standardized tests which are then used to determine how every school performs. The Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test The Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test is yet another initiative aimed towards helping boost performance in schools. The Bureau of K-12 Assessment is responsible for the assessment of students using these tests. These assessments provide useful information about students learning in Florid. This is as required by law (Wilberforce, 2004). Adequate yearly progress This is a measurement by the United states Department of Education. It analyzes how every public school and school district performs. This is done through administration of certain tests which are standardized. Private schools however do not conduct adequate yearly progress Policies to incorporate the admission tests These are tests used in the process of admission at elite/ private school. It also includes admission to colleges and universities. These are used as a prediction on how likely a student is to succeed in academics. The National assessment of Education progress policies This is an assessment carried out at national level and is used to find out the level of development of a student n his progress academically. This assessment is important since it gives statistics to the government and other stake holders in how the students are performing academically. Elementary and Secondary Education Test This amendment was made in 1988. This test is issued to students to test their ability academically when placed on the same conditions. All students therefore take the same test. General Education development test policies. This test is developed by the American Council on Education. The test is done by students as individuals. A certificate is issued to graduands to this effect. California Achievement Admission Test legislations These legislations led to the establishment of the National standardized examination for grades K-12. It tests the achievements of a student. The service is available all year round. Negative Impact of Testing on Learning in the Classroom Testing is known to have certain disastrous effects on students and schools generally. The students may for example suffer emotionally when preparing for examinations. This is because tests are used to gauge a student’s ability and his or her understanding of scope. This makes the student feel anxious and at times suffer from fear of failure. The student certainly knows that by failing that examination, he will not proceed to the next level and may suffer scorn. The feeling of fear and emotional insecurity is worse during the examination period. Cases have been reported in the past of students who faint in the examination room as they sit for their examinations. This depicts a feeling of fear in the student (Watson, 2011). The method of testing students is in itself not sufficient. Using testing as a method of condemning a student to fate is not sufficient at all. If we take an example of a student who has all the years been good academically then he or she fails to perform in the last exam, it is unfair to say that the student is not fit to proceed in the next level. The parameters of measuring his or her ability in this case can only be termed as flawed and without basis. It is important that a different method be used other than just administering tests otherwise the real meaning of education will fade away sooner than later (Luckzak, 2005). The method of testing also encourages cramming among students. Students read voraciously putting a lot of effort and spending time in the library just to pass exams. The true meaning of education is lost whereby it is supposed to produce all rounded students who can work with results. Students who cram to pass examinations therefore get it wrong because they lose out on important bits. Such is what would have made that student to be among the top professionals who can possibly be there. Testing is also insufficient since teachers teach to the test. Teachers want their students to pass examinations not because they want them to fit in their profession well but because they want them glory to come back to them (teachers). This makes testing lose the meaning it was intended for since teachers end up leaking the exam to the students and some even teaching it in class. The process of leaking examinations to students and them being given the same examination is actually a contravention of ethics. Teachers who leak tests to the students do it oblivious of the fact that these students are becoming wasted. Standards of unfairness are at times also exercised by teachers in the process of marking. Some teachers intentionally fail students in their exams simply because they failed to conform to a favor they possibly wanted. This again makes testing lose the intended meaning. Such students end up failing not because they are poor in that particular area but because the teacher f elt they should not pass that particular exam (Afflerbach, 2007). How Testing Influences School Funding Tests are also used by schools as a means of extorting money. They charge very high examination fees to cater for the tests and thus end up exploiting parents. The method has therefore faced a lot of opposition from parents who feel it is a petty fraudulent scheme. To add salt into injury the money received is sometimes not properly accounted for (Paul Watson, 2011) The schools are supposed to administer test which will depict how the students have been performing. The government then uses this analysis to determine how much it will give to schools. Where improvements are not made, the schools receive reduced funds. They are also given alternative punishments which make the people concerned to be more accountable. Testing as a disadvantage to non-performing schools The method of testing also discourages schools that fail to do well. This is because the schools feel they are being sidelined in terms of performance. This is especially so where the performance of different schools compared. The performance index of different schools is compared and ranking is done accordingly. This may discourage the schools at the bottom while the students feel like they are not good enough (Pearson, 2001). Effect of testing on teachers Testing gives undue pressure to the teachers who are required to mark and give timely reports. A class that does not do well in the tests may also demotivate the teacher who may feel like he or she did not teach well. This could however not be the reason why the students did not perform well. They probably did not do their part. The teacher may however be blamed by the school administration for the poor performance (Pearson, 2001). Testing is also a disadvantage in the sense that it leads to less funding to poorly performing schools. Such schools appear as if they have been sidelined which is often interpreted as unfair to them. Effect of Testing on parents Testing may have certain effects on parents. For the students who fail to do well, their parents may feel the students did not put in as much effort as required. Some may go to the extent of punishing their sons and daughters in schools while others may feel they are wasting money paying for school fees. Wrangles are common between children and their parents over poor performance while in school.

Mexican Immigration in Los Angles 1990's Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2000 words

Mexican Immigration in Los Angles 1990's - Essay Example In this new political and economic context, the 1982 and 1994 financial crises have contributed to a redefinition of the relations between unions and the state, especially with regard to labour market deregulation, but also regarding capital-labour relations (Zapata 6-10; Delgado 1-19). The direct effect of the new economic and labour context has been to make employment more precarious, with a general reduction in wages. This has been going on for nearly 20 years (Cortes 12-19). Income levels, already low in 1980, declined even further in the next few years. For example, the minimum wage shows an uninterrupted tendency to fall steadily over the last 20 years, and by 1998 it was worth only 31 per cent of its 1980 value. Average working incomes have also been badly hit and have continued to go down during this period. In the first half of the 1990s there was some improvement in average incomes, but not enough to restore wages to the values they had in the early 1980s. The crisis of December 1994 reduced salaries again, and this state of affairs has continued pretty much up until now (2002). The current value of average working incomes is still about 25 per cent less than it was at the start of the 1980s (see Figure 1). In addition, the number of people earning less than the minimum wage has increased, from 27.7 per cent of the working population in 1990 to 32.5 per cent in 1995 and 37.5 per cent in 1997. The proportion of those receiving between twice and five times the minimum wage has remained stable over the decade. Those who earn more than five minimum wages are in the curious position of having increased in number in 1995 only to go back to representing the same proportion of the workforce as in 1990 (see Table 1). In spite of this, the most important fact to emerge from the figures is that for the entire 1990s a third of the working population earned less than the minimum wage established by law, which is itself very meagre and insufficient to cover even basic needs. Furthermore, an additional 30 per cent of the working population earned between 1 and 2 minimum wages. This means that two-thirds of the workforce have been exposed to a precarious and vulnerable situation in which the movement of their wages has been, in fact, downwards. The persistence of this pattern of income inequity and insecurity for more than 20 years has made migration a real alternative for many. International migration (and remittances) has become a more attractive option than working in new industrial zones or in cities in Mexico, although job opportunities in urban areas are far superior to the limited chances in the Mexican countryside. As Figure 2 shows, the average amount sent back in remittances to Mexico by each migrant worker from 1995 onwards is 2.4 times the official minimum wage, which is two-thirds of the average working income in Mexico. In other words, migrant workers were able to bring to the family income as much money as

Compare and contrast Research Approaches and Methods from text Assignment

Compare and contrast Research Approaches and Methods from text - Assignment Example By comparing and contrasting historical methods with other methodologies, a substantive theory can be developed to form a conceptual framework. Such a framework can create a significant bridge between records characteristically produced by historians and the statistical and experimental models typically brought forward by high theorists. Historical research method versus other approaches Historical research can mean collecting information from conditions that have already taken place and carrying out statistical analysis on this information. One major difference between a historical research and other methodologies is majorly on the manipulation of data. Given that historical method depends on data from the past, it cannot be manipulated in any way. For example, studying older students’ data and those of younger ones may give some insight into the dissimilarities between the varying research methods, but it is impossible to manipulate the work experience. Therefore, historical research may often result in current experiments that try to look at what happened in the past. Apart from the variations, historical research method shares some similarities with other methods, most specifically utilized in business research. Historical Research versus Qualitative Methods Although there are differences between these two approaches, there are similarities as well. Historical research focuses on the narration and interpretation of past events. On the other hand, qualitative studies are focused on ongoing or current events. In historical research method, data sources are similar to those utilized in a number of qualitative studies. They include records, oral histories, documentaries, and eyewitnesses. History links a profession with its legacy and offers a sense of identity, both professionally and personally. However, it does not generally center on identifying social values. For instance, although nursing’s relationship to the whole world is described by his tory, it accomplishes this in an overall sense instead of ascertaining the meaning of the world for an individual (Clarke & Harsh, 2009). The neo-positivistic or positivistic discipline of historical research attempts to trim down history to universal laws. Innovation, verification, and classification of data are used to analyze information as well as an attempt to show cause-effect relations. Researchers in this historical research discipline though they use similar forms of analyzing data like those of the qualitative researchers, come out with very different conclusions (Harris & Brown, 2010). Some statistical analyses and survey methods may also be utilized to improve presentation of objective proof and in this sense too, historical work deviates from pure qualitative methods. The idealist school entirely uses experience and intuition as elements for interpretation. From this point of view, historical researchers perceive it is essential to get the occurrence and reorganize the thought of the inventor relating to the time in context and conditions to make sufficient historical interpretations. In a comparative point of view, one can consider that historical research interprets events in the past while qualitative research examines current events, putting in mind the impacts of history on the context. The interpretations of history and its impacts by the participants such as focus groups, however, are essential to the

The Cultural Web Essay Example for Free

The Cultural Web Essay We have decided to use the cultural web in order to look at the organizational culture as it is now and secondly look at how we want the culture to be in the future. Thirdly we will evaluate and identify the differences between the two; these differences are the changes we need to make in order to achieve the high-performance culture that we want to obtain. The cultural web identifies six interrelated elements that paints the bigger picture of the company of analysis. The six elements are the following: 1. Stories After having conducted qualitative interviews with both customers and employees at A.G. Barr there are a few points to be made regarding the reputation and beliefs of the company. 1.1 â€Å"We like things the way they are† First of all each and every of the interviewed employees agreed that they were part of a family-styled organization, however only few customers were aware they were buying products from a family-owned company. Secondly, when the employees were asked about their desires for the future of the company, 90% of the employees stated that they are happy with the way things currently are and do not show great support towards potential changes at the firm; customers on the other hand mainly stated that companies should always invest in differentiation in such a competitive environment. 2. Rituals and Routines The rituals and routines at A.G. Barr are regular as employees are working on normal time-schedules. The only extra activity they have organized is an annual picnic with the whole firm. 3. Symbols The visual representation of the company is also not as different from most companies as they operate in a normal-sized, clean office space. People can dress up according to their status; workers in their workers’ outfit and managers in suit and tie. 4. Organizational Structure The structure at A.G. Barr is an informal and at the same time hierarchical  structure; especially the hierarchical difference between the workers and managers is massive as the managers have full authority. 5. Control Systems The organization is mainly controlled by the managing board that control all the input and output of the firm in terms of financial systems. We have made quite some changes to this control system in our recommendations as it suggests implementing a reward system to motivate the departments and create a healthy competition within the firm. 6. Power Structures The powers structure is especially hierarchical as the people who have influence on the decisions are all part of the management board. Decisions are made regardless of what the employees are saying, but the employees seem to be fine with that as the survey shows that they are happy with the way things are.

The Old Testament :: Religion Influence Religious Bible Essays

The Old Testament The Old Testament is a compilation, and like every compilation it has a wide variety of contributors who, in turn, have their individual influence upon the final work. It is no surprise, then, that there exist certain parallels between the Enuma Elish, the cosmogony of the Babylonians, and the Book of Genesis, the first part of the Pentateuch section of the Bible. In fact, arguments may be made that other Near Eastern texts, particularly Sumerian, have had their influences in Biblical texts. The extent of this 'borrowing', as it were, is not limited to the Bible; the Enuma Elish has its own roots in Sumerian mythology, predating the Enuma Elish by nearly a thousand years. A superficial examination of this evidence would erroneously lead one to believe that the Bible is somewhat a collection of older mythology re-written specifically for the Semites. In fact, what develops is that the writers have addressed each myth as a separate issue, and what the writers say is that their God sur passes every other. Each myth or text that has a counterpart in the Bible only serves to further an important idea among the Hebrews: there is but one God, and He is omnipotent, omniscient, and other-worldly; He is not of this world, but outside it, apart from it. The idea of a monotheistic religion is first evinced in recorded history with Judaism, and it is vital to see that instead of being an example of plagiarism, the Book of Genesis is a meticulously composed document that will set apart the Hebrew God from the others before, and after. To get a clear picture of the way the Book of Genesis may have been formed (because we can only guess with some degree of certainty), we must place in somewhere in time, and then define the cultures in that time. The influences, possible and probable, must be illustrated, and then we may draw our conclusions. If we trace back to the first appearance of the Bible in written form, in its earliest translation, we arrive at 444 B.C.. Two texts, components of the Pentateuch referred to as 'J' and 'E' texts, can be traced to around 650 B.C. Note that 'J' refers to Yahweh (YHVH) texts, characterized by the use of the word 'Yahweh' or 'Lord' in accounts; 'E' refers to Elohist texts, which use, naturally, 'Elohim' in its references to God.1 But 650 B.

Chapter 2 Aunt Marge’s Big Mistake

Harry went down to breakfast the next morning to find the three Dursleys already sitting around the kitchen table. They were watching a brand-new television, a welcome-home-for-the-summer present for Dudley, who had been complaining loudly about the long walk between the fridge and the television in the living room. Dudley had spent most of the summer in the kitchen, his piggy little eyes fixed on the screen and his five chins wobbling as he ate continually. Harry sat down between Dudley and Uncle Vernon, a large, beefy man with very little neck and a lot of mustache. Far from wishing Harry a happy birthday, none of the Dursleys made any sign that they had noticed Harry enter the room, but Harry was far too used to this to care. He helped himself to a piece of toast and then looked up at the reporter on the television, who was halfway through a report on an escaped convict. â€Å"†¦the public is warned that Black is armed and extremely dangerous. A special hot line has been set up, and any sighting of Black should be reported immediately.† â€Å"No need to tell us he's no good,† snorted Uncle Vernon, staring over the top of his newspaper at the prisoner. â€Å"Look at the state of him, the filthy layabout! Look at his hair!† He shot a nasty look sideways at Harry, whose untidy hair had always been a source of great annoyance to Uncle Vernon. Compared to the man on the television, however, whose gaunt face was surrounded by a matted, elbow-length tangle, Harry felt very well groomed indeed. The reporter had reappeared. â€Å"The Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries will announce today –â€Å" â€Å"Hang on!† barked Uncle Vernon, staring furiously at the reporter. â€Å"You didn't tell us where that maniac's escaped from! What use is that? Lunatic could be coming up the street right now!† Aunt Petunia, who was bony and horse-faced, whipped around and peered intently out of the kitchen window. Harry knew Aunt Petunia would simply love to be the one to call the hot line number. She was the nosiest woman in the world and spent most of her life spying on the boring, law-abiding neighbors. â€Å"When will they learn,† said Uncle Vernon, pounding the table with his large purple fist, â€Å"that hanging's the only way to deal with these people?† â€Å"Very true,† said Aunt Petunia, who was still squinting into next door's runner-beans. Uncle Vernon drained his teacup, glanced at his watch, and added, â€Å"I'd better be off in a minute, Petunia. Marge's train gets in at ten.† Harry, whose thoughts had been upstairs with the Broomstick Servicing Kit, was brought back to earth with an unpleasant bump. â€Å"Aunt Marge?† he blurted out. â€Å"Sh-she's not coming here, is she?† Aunt Marge was Uncle Vernon's sister. Even though she was not a blood relative of Harry's (whose mother had been Aunt Petunia's sister), he had been forced to call her ‘Aunt' all his life. Aunt Marge lived in the country, in a house with a large garden, where she bred bulldogs. She didn't often stay at Privet Drive, because she couldn't bear to leave her precious dogs, but each of her visits stood out horribly vividly in Harry's mind. At Dudley's fifth birthday party, Aunt Margo had whacked Harry around the shins with her walking stick to stop him from beating Dudley at musical statues. A few years later, she had turned up at Christmas with a computerized robot for Dudley and a box of dog biscuits for Harry. On her last visit, the year before Harry started at Hogwarts, Harry had accidentally trodden on the tail of her favorite dog. Ripper had chased Harry out into the garden and up a tree, and Aunt Marge had refused to call him off until past midnight. The memory of this incident still brought tears of laughter to Dudley's eyes. â€Å"Marge'll be here for a week,† Uncle Vernon snarled, â€Å"and while we're on the subject,† he pointed a fat finger threateningly at Harry, â€Å"we need to get a few things straight before I go and collect her.† Dudley smirked and withdrew his gaze from the television. Watching Harry being bullied by Uncle Vernon was Dudley's favorite form of entertainment. â€Å"Firstly,† growled Uncle Vernon, â€Å"you'll keep a civil tongue in your head when you're talking to Marge.† â€Å"All right,† said Harry bitterly, â€Å"if she does when she's talking to me.† â€Å"Secondly,† said Uncle Vernon, acting as though he had not heard Harry's reply, â€Å"as Marge doesn't know anything about your abnormality, I don't want any — any funny stuff while she's here. You behave yourself, got me?† â€Å"I will if she does,† said Harry through gritted teeth. â€Å"And thirdly,† said Uncle Vernon, his mean little eyes now slits in his great purple face, â€Å"we've told Marge you attend St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys.† â€Å"What?† Harry yelled. â€Å"And you'll be sticking to that story, boy, or there'll be trouble,† spat Uncle Vernon. Harry sat there, white-faced and furious, staring at Uncle Vernon, hardly able to believe it. Aunt Marge coming for a weeklong visit — it was the worst birthday present the Dursleys had ever given him, including that pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks. â€Å"Well, Petunia,† said Uncle Vernon, getting heavily to his feet, â€Å"I'll be off to the station, then. Want to come along for the ride, Dudders?† â€Å"No,† said Dudley, whose attention had returned to the television now that Uncle Vernon had finished threatening Harry. â€Å"Duddy's got to make himself smart for his auntie,† said Aunt Petunia, smoothing Dudley's thick blond hair. â€Å"Mummy's bought him a lovely new bow-tie.† Uncle Vernon clapped Dudley on his porky shoulder. â€Å"See you in a bit, then,† he said, and he left the kitchen. Harry, who had been sitting in a kind of horrified trance, had a sudden idea. Abandoning his toast, he got quickly to his feet and followed Uncle Vernon to the front door. Uncle Vernon was pulling on his car coat. â€Å"I'm not taking you,† he snarled as he turned to see Harry watching him. â€Å"Like I wanted to come,† said Harry coldly. â€Å"I want to ask you something.† Uncle Vernon eyed him suspiciously. â€Å"Third years at Hog — at my school are allowed to visit the village sometimes,† said Harry. â€Å"So?† snapped Uncle Vernon, taking his car keys from a hook next to the door. â€Å"I need you to sign the permission form,† said Harry in a rush. â€Å"And why should I do that?† sneered Uncle Vernon. â€Å"Well,† said Harry, choosing his words carefully, â€Å"it'll be hard work, pretending to Aunt Marge I go to that St. Whatsits†¦.† â€Å"St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys!† bellowed Uncle Vernon, and Harry was pleased to hear a definite note of panic in Uncle Vernon's voice. â€Å"Exactly,† said Harry, looking calmly up into Uncle Vernon's large, purple face. â€Å"It's a lot to remember. I'll have to make it sound convincing, won't I? What if I accidentally let something slip?† â€Å"You'll get the stuffing knocked out of you, won't you?† roared Uncle Vernon, advancing on Harry with his fist raised. But Harry stood his ground. â€Å"Knocking the stuffing out of me won't make Aunt Marge forget what I could tell her,† he said grimly. Uncle Vernon stopped, his fist still raised, his face an ugly puce. â€Å"But if you sign my permission form,† Harry went on quickly, â€Å"I swear Ill remember where I'm supposed to go to school, and Ill act like a Mug — like I'm normal and everything.† Harry could tell that Uncle Vernon was thinking it over, even if his teeth were bared and a vein was throbbing in his temple. â€Å"Right,† he snapped finally. â€Å"I shall monitor your behavior carefully during Marge's visit. If, at the end of it, you've toed the line and kept to the story, Ill sign your ruddy form.† He wheeled around, pulled open the front door, and slammed it so hard that one of the little panes of glass at the top fell out. Harry didn't return to the kitchen. He went back upstairs to his bedroom. If he was going to act like a real Muggle, heed better start now. Slowly and sadly he gathered up all his presents and his birthday cards and hid them under the loose floorboard with his homework. Then he went to Hedwig's cage. Errol seemed to have recovered; he and Hedwig were both asleep, heads under their wings. Harry sighed, then poked them both awake. â€Å"Hedwig,† he said gloomily, â€Å"you're going to have to clear off for a week. Go with Errol. Ron'll look after you. Ill write him a note, explaining. And don't look at me like that† — Hedwig's large amber eyes were reproachful — â€Å"it's not my fault. It's the only way I'll be allowed to visit Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione.† Ten minutes later, Errol and Hedwig (who had a note to Ron bound to her leg) soared out of the window and out of sight. Harry, now feeling thoroughly miserable, put the empty cage away inside the wardrobe. But Harry didn't have long to brood. In next to no time, Aunt Petunia was shrieking up the stairs for Harry to come down and get ready to welcome their guest. â€Å"Do something about your hair!† Aunt Petunia snapped as he reached the hall. Harry couldn't see the point of trying to make his hair lie flat. Aunt Marge loved criticizing him, so the untidier he looked, the happier she would be. All too soon, there was a crunch of gravel outside as Uncle Vernon's car pulled back into the driveway, then the clunk of the car doors and footsteps on the garden path. â€Å"Get the door!† Aunt Petunia hissed at Harry. A feeling of great gloom in his stomach, Harry pulled the door open. On the threshold stood Aunt Marge. She was very like Uncle Vernon: large, beefy, and purple-faced, she even had a mustache, though not as bushy as his. In one hand she held an enormous suitcase, and tucked under the other was an old and evil-tempered bulldog. â€Å"Where's my Dudders?† roared Aunt Marge. â€Å"Where's my neffy poo?† Dudley came waddling down the hall, his blond hair plastered flat to his fat head, a bow tie just visible under his many chins. Aunt Marge thrust the suitcase into Harry's stomach, knocking the wind out of him, seized Dudley in a tight one-armed hug, and planted a large kiss on his cheek. Harry knew perfectly well that Dudley only put up with Aunt Marge's hugs because he was well paid for it, and sure enough, when they broke apart, Dudley had a crisp twenty-pound note clutched in his fat fist. â€Å"Petunia!† shouted Aunt Marge, striding past Harry as though he was a hat-stand. Aunt Marge and Aunt Petunia kissed, or rather, Aunt Marge bumped her large jaw against Aunt Petunias bony cheekbone. Uncle Vernon now came in, smiling jovially as he shut the door. â€Å"Tea, Marge?† he said. â€Å"And what will Ripper take?† â€Å"Ripper can have some tea out of my saucer,† said Aunt Marge as they all proceeded into the kitchen, leaving Harry alone in the hall with the suitcase. But Harry wasn't complaining; any excuse not to be with Aunt Marge was fine by him, so he began to heave the case upstairs into the spare bedroom, taking as long as he could. By the time he got back to the kitchen, Aunt Marge had been supplied with tea and fruitcake, and Ripper was lapping noisily in the corner. Harry saw Aunt Petunia wince slightly as specks of tea and drool flecked her clean floor. Aunt Petunia hated animals. â€Å"Who's looking after the other dogs, Marge?† Uncle Vernon asked. â€Å"Oh, I've got Colonel Fubster managing them,† boomed Aunt Marge. â€Å"He's retired now, good for him to have something to do. But I couldn't leave poor old Ripper. He pines if he's away from me.† Ripper began to growl again as Harry sat down. This directed Aunt Marge's attention to Harry for the first time. â€Å"So!† she barked. â€Å"Still here, are you?† â€Å"Yes,† said Harry. â€Å"Don't you say â€Å"yes† in that ungrateful tone,† Aunt Marge growled. â€Å"It's damn good of Vernon and Petunia to keep you. Wouldn't have done it myself. You'd have gone straight to an orphanage if you'd been dumped on my doorstep.† Harry was bursting to say that he'd rather live in an orphanage than with the Dursleys, but the thought of the Hogsmeade form stopped him. He forced his face into a painful smile. â€Å"Don't you smirk at me!† boomed Aunt Marge. â€Å"I can see you haven't improved since I last saw you. I hoped school would knock some manners into you.† She took a large gulp of tea, wiped her mustache, and said, â€Å"Where is it that you send him, again, Vernon?† â€Å"St. Brutus's,† said Uncle Vernon promptly. â€Å"It's a first-rate institution for hopeless cases.† â€Å"I see,† said Aunt Marge. â€Å"Do they use the cane at St. Brutus's, boy?† she barked across the table. â€Å"Er –â€Å" Uncle Vernon nodded curtly behind Aunt Marge's back. â€Å"Yes,† said Harry. Then, feeling he might as well do the thing properly, he added, â€Å"All the time.† â€Å"Excellent,† said Aunt Marge. â€Å"I won't have this namby-pamby, wishy-washy nonsense about not hitting people who deserve it. A good thrashing is what's needed in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. Have you been beaten often?† â€Å"Oh, yeah,† said Harry, â€Å"loads of times.† Aunt Marge narrowed her eyes. â€Å"I still don't like your tone, boy,† she said. â€Å"If you can speak of your beatings in that casual way, they clearly aren't hitting you hard enough. Petunia, I'd write if I were you. Make it clear that you approve the use of extreme force in this boy's case.† Perhaps Uncle Vernon was worried that Harry might forget their bargain; in any case, he changed the subject abruptly. â€Å"Heard the news this morning, Marge? What about that escaped prisoner, eh?† ****** As Aunt Marge started to make herself at home, Harry caught himself thinking almost longingly of life at number four without her. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia usually encouraged Harry to stay out of their way, which Harry was only too happy to do. Aunt Marge, on the other hand, wanted Harry under her eye at all times, so that she could boom out suggestions for his improvement. She delighted in comparing Harry with Dudley, and took huge pleasure in buying Dudley expensive presents while glaring at Harry, as though daring him to ask why he hadn't got a present too. She also kept throwing out dark hints about what made Harry such an unsatisfactory person. â€Å"You mustn't blame yourself for the way the boy's turned out, Vernon,† she said over lunch on the third day. â€Å"If there's something rotten on the inside, there's nothing anyone can do about it.† Harry tried to concentrate on his food, but his hands shook and his face was starting to burn with anger. Remember the form, he told himself. Think about Hogsmeade. Don't say anything. Don't rise — Aunt Marge reached for her glass of wine. â€Å"It's one of the basic rules of breeding,† she said. â€Å"You see it all the time with dogs. If there's something wrong with the bitch, there'll be something wrong with the pup –â€Å" At that moment, the wineglass Aunt Marge was holding exploded in her hand. Shards of glass flew in every direction and Aunt Marge sputtered and blinked, her great ruddy face dripping. â€Å"Marge!† squealed Aunt Petunia. â€Å"Marge, are you all right?† â€Å"Not to worry,† grunted Aunt Marge, mopping her face with her napkin. â€Å"Must have squeezed it too hard. Did the same thing at Colonel Fubster's the other day. No need to fuss, Petunia, I have a very firm grip†¦.† But Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were both looking at Harry suspiciously, so he decided he'd better skip dessert and escape from the table as soon as he could. Outside in the hall, he leaned against the wall, breathing deeply. It had been a long time since he'd lost control and made something explode. He couldn't afford to let it happen again. The Hogsmeade form wasn't the only thing at stake — if he carried on like that, he'd be in trouble with the Ministry of Magic. Harry was still an underage wizard, and he was forbidden by wizard law to do magic outside school. His record wasn't exactly clean either. Only last summer he'd gotten an official warning that had stated quite clearly that if the Ministry got wind of any more magic in Privet Drive, Harry would face expulsion from Hogwarts. He heard the Dursleys leaving the table and hurried upstairs out of the way. ****** Harry got through the next three days by forcing himself to think about his Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare whenever Aunt Marge started on him. This worked quite well, though it seemed to give him a glazed look, because Aunt Marge started voicing the opinion that he was mentally subnormal. At last, at long last, the final evening of Marge's stay arrived. Aunt Petunia cooked a fancy dinner and Uncle Vernon uncorked several bottles of wine. They got all the way through the soup and the salmon without a single mention of Harry's faults; during the lemon meringue pie, Uncle Vernon bored them a with a long talk about Grunnings, his drill-making company; then Aunt Petunia made coffee and Uncle Vernon brought out a bottle of brandy. â€Å"Can I tempt you, Marge?† Aunt Marge had already had quite a lot of wine. Her huge face was very red. â€Å"Just a small one, then,† she chuckled. â€Å"A bit more than that†¦and a bit more†¦that's the ticket.† Dudley was eating his fourth slice of pie. Aunt Petunia was sipping coffee with her little finger sticking out. Harry really wanted to disappear into his bedroom, but he met Uncle Vernon's angry little eyes and knew he would have to sit it out. â€Å"Aah,† said Aunt Marge, smacking her lips and putting the empty brandy glass back down. â€Å"Excellent nosh, Petunia. It's normally just a fry-up for me of an evening, with twelve dogs to look after†¦Ã¢â‚¬  She burped richly and patted her great tweed stomach. â€Å"Pardon me. But I do like to see a healthy-sized boy,† she went on, winking at Dudley. â€Å"You'll be a proper-sized man, Dudders, like your father. Yes, I'll have a spot more brandy, Vernon†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Now, this one here –â€Å" She jerked her head at Harry, who felt his stomach clench. The Handbook, he thought quickly. â€Å"This one's got a mean, runty look about him. You get that with dogs. I had Colonel Fubster drown one last year. Ratty little thing it was. Weak. Underbred.† Harry was trying to remember page twelve of his book: A Charm to Cure Reluctant Reversers. â€Å"It all comes down to blood, as I was saying the other day. Bad blood will out. Now, I'm saying nothing against your family, Petunia† — she patted Aunt Petunia's bony hand with her shovel-like one â€Å"but your sister was a bad egg. They turn up in the best families. Then she ran off with a wastrel and here's the result right in front of us.† Harry was staring at his plate, a funny ringing in his ears. Grasp your broom firmly by the tail, he thought. But he couldn't remember what came next. Aunt Marge's voice seemed to be boring into him like one of Uncle Vernon's drills. â€Å"This Potter,† said Aunt Marge loudly, seizing the brandy bottle and splashing more into her glass and over the tablecloth, â€Å"you never told me what he did?† Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were looking extremely tense. Dudley had even looked up from his pie to gape at his parents. â€Å"He — didn't work,† said Uncle Vernon, with half a glance at Harry. â€Å"Unemployed.† â€Å"As I expected!† said Aunt Marge, taking a huge swig of brandy and wiping her chin on her sleeve. â€Å"A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger who –â€Å" â€Å"He was not,† said Harry suddenly. The table went very quiet. Harry was shaking all over. He had never felt so angry in his life. â€Å"MORE BRANDY!† yelled Uncle Vernon, who had gone very white. He emptied the bottle into Aunt Marge's glass. â€Å"You, boy,† he snarled at Harry. â€Å"Go to bed, go on –â€Å" â€Å"No, Vernon,† hiccuped Aunt Marge, holding up a hand, her tiny bloodshot eyes fixed on Harry's. â€Å"Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are you? They go and get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk, I expect) –â€Å" â€Å"They didn't die in a car crash!† said Harry, who found himself on his feet. â€Å"They died in a car crash, you nasty little liar, and left you to be a burden on their decent, hardworking relatives!† screamed Aunt Marge, swelling with fury. â€Å"You are an insolent, ungrateful little –â€Å" But Aunt Marge suddenly stopped speaking. For a moment, it looked as though words had failed her. She seemed to be swelling with inexpressible anger — but the swelling didn't stop. Her great red face started to expand, her tiny eyes bulged, and her mouth stretched too tightly for speech — next second, several buttons had just burst from her tweed jacket and pinged off the walls — she was inflating like a monstrous balloon, her stomach bursting free of her tweed waistband, each of her fingers blowing up like a salami†¦ â€Å"MARGE!† yelled Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia together as Aunt Marge's whole body began to rise off her chair toward the ceiling. She was entirely round, now, like a vast life buoy with piggy eyes, and her hands and feet stuck out weirdly as she drifted up into the air, making apoplectic popping noises. Ripper came skidding into the room, barking madly. â€Å"NOOOOOOO!† Uncle Vernon seized one of Marge's feet and tried to pull her down again, but was almost lifted from the floor himself. A second later, Ripper leapt forward and sank his teeth into Uncle Vernon's leg. Harry tore from the dining room before anyone could stop him, heading for the cupboard under the stairs. The cupboard door burst magically open as he reached it. In seconds, he had heaved his trunk to the front door. He sprinted upstairs and threw himself under the bed, wrenching up the loose floorboard, and grabbed the pillowcase full of his books and birthday presents. He wriggled out, seized Hedwig's empty cage, and dashed back downstairs to his trunk, just as Uncle Vernon burst out of the dining room, his trouser leg in bloody tatters. â€Å"COME BACK IN HERE!† he bellowed. â€Å"COME BACK AND PUT HER RIGHT!† But a reckless rage had come over Harry. He kicked his trunk open, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at Uncle Vernon. â€Å"She deserved it,† Harry said, breathing very fast. â€Å"She deserved what she got. You keep away from me.† He fumbled behind him for the latch on the door. â€Å"I'm going,† Harry said. â€Å"I've had enough.† And in the next moment, he was out in the dark, quiet street, heaving his heavy trunk behind him, Hedwig's cage under his arm.